Written in Heaven

I think every leader has soapboxes they get on. For me, it’s listening. There’s nothing that ticks me off when I’m talking to someone and I know they’re not listening. The other day, someone was talking to me and I was checking out hard core – I mean, I can’t remember a word they said. About half way through this, I recognized my hypocritical nature and apologized to the guy.

I started wondering “Why don’t we listen to people/interrupt people”? Here are the conclusions my research and thoughts have brought me to:

1. We are genuinely disinterested in what this person has to say.

This is pretty common. If someone comes in and drones on and on about the same thing, I lose interest and stop listening. Some people are (or consider themselves) ADHD and use it as an excuse to stop listening. Either way, I would think it would be considered rude.

2. We are genuinely disinterested in the person talking.

We don’t care about what this person is saying because we don’t care about this person. It sounds pretty harsh to say that, but I think if we could replay the tapes of certain people talking to us, we would probably agree.

3. We think we know what they’re going to say.

We typically interrupt people or stop listening because we think we know what they’re going to say. Sometimes we’re right, sometimes not, but either way, it’s pretty rude.

4. We think we’re smarter than they are.

This is why I don’t listen sometimes. Someone’s talking and I think I know more, so I stop listening. This is something that God has majorly checked me on and put me in my rightful “Matt-you’re-an-idiot-and-the-quicker-we-both-recognize-that-the-better-life-will-be” place.

5. We think what we have to say is more important than what they’re talking about.

This allows us to disengage and begin our own line of thinking. Or, this allows us to interrupt them and start talking about what we want to talk about. Again, a little on the rude side.

Ultimately, my belief is that not listening/interrupting goes back to humility. If we ever think that there are people in life we cannot learn from, are genuinely disinterested in, or feel as though we are smarter than, we are in desperate need of humility. As leaders, listening is crucial. We’re all busy, but taking time to listen can make or break your leadership.