I’m standing on the brink of a big achievement in my life; earning my Master’s Degree. I actually finished up class yesterday. I have to go out to Jersey next week and give a presentation on Saturday, but on Sunday I get to walk across the stage and receive my diploma. I’m excited about being done with all of the assignments, group projects, daily online posting, etc., but I’m really more excited to share this experience with my family.
My nature in dealing with this kind of stuff is to essentially climb one mountain and from the peak of that mountain look forward at all of the other things I have to do, rather than look backwards at how far I’ve come. I really think this is a personality flaw. There’s nothing wrong with hard work and planning, but there is something wrong with not taking a moment to celebrate major life moments.
I love Luke chapter 15 in the Bible. It talks about a lost sheep, a lost coin, and a lost son. Even more common was the fact that all three were found, and upon being found a huge celebration took place. When the son was found, the proud father said, “We HAD to celebrate…”
One of my favorite Rob Bell quotes is something to the effect of “the church has nothing to say to the world until it can throw better parties.” I love that. There is so much good that happens in our lives that we don’t celebrate. We HAVE to celebrate, God’s been so good to us. When you hit those life moments that are just incredible, stop, thank God, and throw a huge blowout party celebrating what God had done for you. So, celebrate good times, come on! (Sorry, I couldn’t resist)
What’s God done for you that you HAVE to celebrate?
MYTHBUSTERS:
GOD WON’T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Have you ever seen someone who had too much on their plate for one person to handle? What kinds of things were they struggling with? Have you ever been there?
2. They myth that ‘God won’t give you more than you can handle’ came from 1 Corinthians 10:13. What’s this verse talking about? Why have we made this verse about everything rather than simply about temptation?
3. Moses (Exodus 18:17-23; Numbers 11:13-14), and Elijah (1 Kings 19:1-8) are pillars of the Old Testament – some of the most Godly men in the Bible. All of them had a moment where their load was ‘too much’ or ‘too heavy’ for them to bear. What was your initial reaction when you heard that? What do you think was the point that they decided the load was too much? How did God respond to each one of them?
4. David (Psalm 38:4) is also one of the most revered figures in the Bible. David came to a point where the sin in his life was more than he could bear. Have you ever felt that way? What did you do to relieve that feeling?
5. God wants us to do two things in response to a heavy load: give the load to Him, and share the load with others. In all honesty all of the folks around this table are living lives and are in situations that are too much for one person to handle. What’s the load in your life that you need to share with others right now? How can we pray for one another?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
GOD WON’T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Have you ever seen someone who had too much on their plate for one person to handle? What kinds of things were they struggling with? Have you ever been there?
2. They myth that ‘God won’t give you more than you can handle’ came from 1 Corinthians 10:13. What’s this verse talking about? Why have we made this verse about everything rather than simply about temptation?
3. Moses (Exodus 18:17-23; Numbers 11:13-14), and Elijah (1 Kings 19:1-8) are pillars of the Old Testament – some of the most Godly men in the Bible. All of them had a moment where their load was ‘too much’ or ‘too heavy’ for them to bear. What was your initial reaction when you heard that? What do you think was the point that they decided the load was too much? How did God respond to each one of them?
4. David (Psalm 38:4) is also one of the most revered figures in the Bible. David came to a point where the sin in his life was more than he could bear. Have you ever felt that way? What did you do to relieve that feeling?
5. God wants us to do two things in response to a heavy load: give the load to Him, and share the load with others. In all honesty all of the folks around this table are living lives and are in situations that are too much for one person to handle. What’s the load in your life that you need to share with others right now? How can we pray for one another?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
I’m about an ‘every other season’ American Idol watcher. When I get into the show from day one, I love it. If I don’t come in until halfway through, I can’t get into it. I don’t know why, I just can’t. The reason the beginning episodes are so great is because they feature some of the worst ‘singers’ on the planet. I mean, to use the word singer is disrespectful to singers everywhere, but you’ve seen the show, you know what I mean.
What kills me is that these folks get done butchering ‘I Will Survive’ and stand there shocked that they were terrible. What’s even more amazing is that the family members of this person encourage him or her to go out and audition for this show. Why would you throw your family member to the wolves like that? There are three reasons I can think of: 1. You genuinely think this individual can sing because you’re incredibly tone-deaf or are blinded by some kind of irrational love. 2. You hate this individual and take pleasure in seeing them get berated on national television. Now, I really think both of those situations are as unlikely as the third option: 3. You really don’t think this person can sing, but you don’t have the ‘heart’ to tell them that they can’t. For whatever reason, you can’t pull the trigger to tell this family member they can’t sing and you think that having four strangers laugh in their face is a much better option.
It seems pretty cruel when you look at it that way; that’s because it is! Many times as leaders we operate the same way. We like to think things are going smoothly and people are telling us they are, but they’re really not. Just like the tone deaf auditioners from American Idol, we too must face the brutal facts: things are not ok. We have to look at the organizations or entities we are in charge of and make difficult decisions for the benefit of the organization, rather than for the benefit of our own comfort.
Confronting the brutal facts is hard, but it’s way easier than waking up one day getting blasted by an ornery Englishman.
What kills me is that these folks get done butchering ‘I Will Survive’ and stand there shocked that they were terrible. What’s even more amazing is that the family members of this person encourage him or her to go out and audition for this show. Why would you throw your family member to the wolves like that? There are three reasons I can think of: 1. You genuinely think this individual can sing because you’re incredibly tone-deaf or are blinded by some kind of irrational love. 2. You hate this individual and take pleasure in seeing them get berated on national television. Now, I really think both of those situations are as unlikely as the third option: 3. You really don’t think this person can sing, but you don’t have the ‘heart’ to tell them that they can’t. For whatever reason, you can’t pull the trigger to tell this family member they can’t sing and you think that having four strangers laugh in their face is a much better option.
It seems pretty cruel when you look at it that way; that’s because it is! Many times as leaders we operate the same way. We like to think things are going smoothly and people are telling us they are, but they’re really not. Just like the tone deaf auditioners from American Idol, we too must face the brutal facts: things are not ok. We have to look at the organizations or entities we are in charge of and make difficult decisions for the benefit of the organization, rather than for the benefit of our own comfort.
Confronting the brutal facts is hard, but it’s way easier than waking up one day getting blasted by an ornery Englishman.
IDENTITY THEFT:
THE OTHER THING MEN THINK ABOUT
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. When you hear the phrase “the other thing men think about” what jumps into your head? What are some stereotypes regarding the thoughts of a man? From your perspective how true are these stereotypes?
2. In 2 Timothy 4:6-8, Paul talks about fighting the ‘good fight.’ What’s an example of a good fight? A bad fight? Why does a man need to fight at all?
3. In 1 John 2: 16, Paul talks about three things that trip men up: the lust of the flesh (sex), the lust of the eye (material things), and pride of life (self pride). What does each one of these look like in our world today? On a personal level, which one do you struggle with the most?
4. The last part of the 2 Timothy passage talks about having a faith worth keeping. What does it look like to have a mediocre faith or a ‘shipwrecked’ faith? How can we ensure that our faith is one worth keeping? Are we doing what we need to in order to have a faith worth keeping? If no, why not?
5. Personally which of these do you feel like you need to focus on spiritually: having a fight worth fighting for, the three traps Paul talks about, or a faith that’s strengthened daily? How can we help each other grow in these areas? Pray for one another about these needs.
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
THE OTHER THING MEN THINK ABOUT
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. When you hear the phrase “the other thing men think about” what jumps into your head? What are some stereotypes regarding the thoughts of a man? From your perspective how true are these stereotypes?
2. In 2 Timothy 4:6-8, Paul talks about fighting the ‘good fight.’ What’s an example of a good fight? A bad fight? Why does a man need to fight at all?
3. In 1 John 2: 16, Paul talks about three things that trip men up: the lust of the flesh (sex), the lust of the eye (material things), and pride of life (self pride). What does each one of these look like in our world today? On a personal level, which one do you struggle with the most?
4. The last part of the 2 Timothy passage talks about having a faith worth keeping. What does it look like to have a mediocre faith or a ‘shipwrecked’ faith? How can we ensure that our faith is one worth keeping? Are we doing what we need to in order to have a faith worth keeping? If no, why not?
5. Personally which of these do you feel like you need to focus on spiritually: having a fight worth fighting for, the three traps Paul talks about, or a faith that’s strengthened daily? How can we help each other grow in these areas? Pray for one another about these needs.
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
Colossians 2: 13-15
Colossians 2: 13-15
The biggest temptation for a leader varies leader to leader. I think for pastors, one of the biggest temptation is to view the people around you through the lens of how they serve the church vs. the lens of who they are as a person. Sometimes we are so anxious to get someone involved in ministry or a volunteer hole filled that we forget that we’re actually dealing with a person and not just a slot filler. Even worse, sometimes we want to fill a leadership role so badly that we put someone into leadership who’s not ready to be there. In the church world, that is an error that can have significant, eternal negative consequences.
One of the things I love about BridgeWay is that we understands the connection between spiritual growth and leadership development. Leading in the church is one of the best ways to grow spiritually. That doesn’t mean you should do it for that reason – calling, skill sets, spiritual seasoning, etc. all play a critical role. However, if you feel led to lead God wants to use that position to help you grow as a person.
When it comes to leading, it’s not enough to lead the 1, 5, 10, 100 people underneath you, you have to lead yourself and your family first. To lead you have to be developed all the way around as a person. To lead well requires a wholeness of person that allows you to grow spiritually, as well as in your leadership ability.
God continually challenges me personally as a leader. Sometimes, when I ask God to make me a better leader, He points out what is wrong with me personally. When I address that my leading inevitably improves.
What areas of your life is God challenging you to improve so that you may experience ‘wholeness’ of spiritual development and leadership growth?
One of the things I love about BridgeWay is that we understands the connection between spiritual growth and leadership development. Leading in the church is one of the best ways to grow spiritually. That doesn’t mean you should do it for that reason – calling, skill sets, spiritual seasoning, etc. all play a critical role. However, if you feel led to lead God wants to use that position to help you grow as a person.
When it comes to leading, it’s not enough to lead the 1, 5, 10, 100 people underneath you, you have to lead yourself and your family first. To lead you have to be developed all the way around as a person. To lead well requires a wholeness of person that allows you to grow spiritually, as well as in your leadership ability.
God continually challenges me personally as a leader. Sometimes, when I ask God to make me a better leader, He points out what is wrong with me personally. When I address that my leading inevitably improves.
What areas of your life is God challenging you to improve so that you may experience ‘wholeness’ of spiritual development and leadership growth?
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Do you know anyone that’s constantly on the go? Who is it? What kinds of things keep them on the go?
2. Read Luke 10:38-42. There are two women described in the story, Mary and Martha. Mary was able to simply enjoy the presence of Jesus while Martha was constantly working to make preparations for Jesus. Who do you relate more to in the story? Why?
3. The Martha’s of the world tend to be doers. What other characteristics do the Martha’s of the world portray? Why do you think that is?
4. The Mary’s of the world tend to be listeners. What other characteristics do the Mary’s of the world portray? Why do you think that is?
5. This story comes down to unconditional love of a person for who they are, not what they do. In what ways do we struggle to love someone else unconditionally? In what ways do we struggle to love ourselves unconditionally?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Do you know anyone that’s constantly on the go? Who is it? What kinds of things keep them on the go?
2. Read Luke 10:38-42. There are two women described in the story, Mary and Martha. Mary was able to simply enjoy the presence of Jesus while Martha was constantly working to make preparations for Jesus. Who do you relate more to in the story? Why?
3. The Martha’s of the world tend to be doers. What other characteristics do the Martha’s of the world portray? Why do you think that is?
4. The Mary’s of the world tend to be listeners. What other characteristics do the Mary’s of the world portray? Why do you think that is?
5. This story comes down to unconditional love of a person for who they are, not what they do. In what ways do we struggle to love someone else unconditionally? In what ways do we struggle to love ourselves unconditionally?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
One of Jesus’ most famous parables is the parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30). The story is about a guy who leaves his money to three servants. One servant he gave 5 talents, another he gave 2 talents, and a third he gave one talent. The Bible says each was given ‘according to his ability’. By the time the master had returned, the servant with 5 talents had doubled it to 10 and the guy with 2 talents had doubled it to 4. However, the guy with one talent had buried it to ensure it wouldn’t be lost. The master was well pleased with the first two guys but furious with the third. He was so furious in fact, that he called the servant “wicked” and “lazy” (v. 26).
One of the biggest realizations in my life has been that this parable is about people who follow Jesus. That means me. That means that I fall into one of those three categories. That means God entrusts me with things that fit according to my trustworthiness. Frankly, that scares me. I mean, I think everyone wants to be the guy with the 5 talents who doubles it to 10. I certainly do. I want to do everything I can to change the world for Jesus. What scares me is the realization that I might end up being the guy with 2 talents, or even worse ‘wicked and lazy.’
God trusts us with big things when he can trust us with the small things. One of my daily prayers is a prayer of thanks for all that God has entrusted me with: my relationship with Him, my beautiful wife, my precious son, a position at a local church that I love, a staff I get to serve with that is second to none, and a church that I absolutely adore that is hungry to reach people for Jesus – and is, not to mention countless other relationships that I'm thankful for. As I look at that list, there is so much there that God is trusting me with. My job is to be faithful and effective to that task, not wicked and lazy.
What is in your life that God has entrusted to you? How are you doing managing those things?
One of the biggest realizations in my life has been that this parable is about people who follow Jesus. That means me. That means that I fall into one of those three categories. That means God entrusts me with things that fit according to my trustworthiness. Frankly, that scares me. I mean, I think everyone wants to be the guy with the 5 talents who doubles it to 10. I certainly do. I want to do everything I can to change the world for Jesus. What scares me is the realization that I might end up being the guy with 2 talents, or even worse ‘wicked and lazy.’
God trusts us with big things when he can trust us with the small things. One of my daily prayers is a prayer of thanks for all that God has entrusted me with: my relationship with Him, my beautiful wife, my precious son, a position at a local church that I love, a staff I get to serve with that is second to none, and a church that I absolutely adore that is hungry to reach people for Jesus – and is, not to mention countless other relationships that I'm thankful for. As I look at that list, there is so much there that God is trusting me with. My job is to be faithful and effective to that task, not wicked and lazy.
What is in your life that God has entrusted to you? How are you doing managing those things?
IDENTITY THEFT:
MAN UP
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. When you think of a man, what characteristics come to mind? What does the ‘perfect man’ look like?
2. What are some of the pressures guys face in today’s world? Where do these pressures come from and why do they exist?
3. Why does it seem harder for men to embrace spiritual things than for women? Does the world place any kind of pressure spiritually on men? What messages does it send and why?
4. Read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. What does scripture say being ‘strong’ looks like? Why do we have to be strong in God by admitting our weaknesses?
5. How do we become strong in this spiritual sense? In what areas of our lives do we need strength spiritually? How can we pray for one another to make that happen?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
MAN UP
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. When you think of a man, what characteristics come to mind? What does the ‘perfect man’ look like?
2. What are some of the pressures guys face in today’s world? Where do these pressures come from and why do they exist?
3. Why does it seem harder for men to embrace spiritual things than for women? Does the world place any kind of pressure spiritually on men? What messages does it send and why?
4. Read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. What does scripture say being ‘strong’ looks like? Why do we have to be strong in God by admitting our weaknesses?
5. How do we become strong in this spiritual sense? In what areas of our lives do we need strength spiritually? How can we pray for one another to make that happen?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
