Written in Heaven

Another great day at BridgeWay! Here are some closing thoughts to the last Sunday of 2008:

• As I said in the services, Dale was out sick today. If you know Dale, you know how sick he would have to be to not be at BridgeWay. Dale, missed you today man, praying for you and the fam.
• Big ups to the cleaning crew. The main theater has been so clean the past couple weeks!
• We had to make some last minute shifts in the childrens area. We had a wet theater from all the melting snow and rain (I know what you're thinking - why would the theater be wet because the snow melted and it rained? Exactly!) That's one advantage to being portable - just move to a different theater.
• Shout out to Connie our Pastor of Family Life for going with the flow in those situations. She's a great improvisor.
• Aside from that, the day was smooth sailing.
• The band was killer in the run through and lit it up both services.
• I love the song "Spring of Life" that they did this week. "Jesus, you're the well that won't run dry, Jesus, you're the drink that satisifies, living water, spring of life, Jesus you're the well that won't run dry." Good stuff!
• Thanks to our congregation for rolling with the written survey we handed out this week. That's going to help us greatly as we plan the upcoming year.
• It was fun to talk about steps to writing goals today.
• This message is one that Dale wrote. It's hard to preach a message when someone else writes it with such passion like Dale does. It's tough because you want to make sure you communicate that passion with the message. But the principles were great and it seemed to communicate well. Hopefully we'll see a lot of people map out some goals for their lives because of our time together today.
• Personally and speaking for Brooke, 2008 has been one of the greatest years our my lives. God answered our prayers (of about a year and a half) by allowing us to join the staff of BridgeWay, my sister has had God's healing hand on her as she's worked through some dangerous medical situations, my brother was married in June, my dad just got a new job that we had been praying for for about a year or so, and my mom is completely healthy for the first time in a long time. Praise God for his faithfulness in the midst of unsettling times!
• Oh yeah - and hopefully by the end of the week we'll be parents! Brooke's due January 1 (this Thursday!) so if you think about it, say a little prayer that the little guy comes sooner than later. I saw she was looking up 'natural ways to induce labor' on the internet last night! I think it's safe to say she's ready to have the baby!

Have a safe and happy New Year!

Have you ever asked someone to do something because you didn’t want to do it? I remember as a kid feeling like this is where the majority of chores from my parents originated. They saw a task they didn’t want to do and would ask (and by that I mean tell) me to do it. Now that I’m older, I understand that they were really not as concerned about the task as they were about instilling in me work ethic, the value of an honest day’s work, etc.

What about as a leader? Have you ever asked someone to do something that you didn’t want to do? Anyone who has ever had an intern serve under them probably has done this. I’ve asked my interns to clean out church vans, do research on portable baptisteries, pick up lunch, etc. All tasks that needed to be done and were important on some level, but stuff I really didn’t want to do.

When it comes to leading volunteers or a small group, the ball game is different. They can walk whenever they want. They don’t have to show up. What keeps them coming back (aside from God’s call on their life) is the fact that they feel valued and they feel part of a team. This requires us as leaders to model the way. This means don’t ask people to do something you’re not willing to do. Don’t tell everyone how important a service project is and then not show up. Don’t talk to people about the importance of prayer and never pray. Don’t ask someone to clean a bathroom while you stand and watch. Plus, that would be weird anyway.

The point is, as a leader anyone who is following you is a gift from God. God has entrusted you with this person or these people. He wants you to model the way spiritually, physically, and in whatever other way your leadership requires. Modeling the way is what all Godly leaders do, especially Jesus. Jesus valued everyone and modeled the way for them to live. So should we.

WHEN LOVE COME TO TOWN: A U2 CHRISTMAS
WALK ON

***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.

***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.

1. What is the one movie about Christmas that you love to watch this time of year? Why is it your favorite? When you think about Jesus and his Christmas story, what details of the story move you the most?

2. Read Matthew 1:22-23. When you think of prominent criminal cases that have been in the court system in our lifetime, which ones have we been quick to judge, right or wrong? What person or groups of people are we quick to judge or put labels on in our own lives? Why? What should we do with these preconceptions in light of Galatians 3:26-28?

3. Joseph was quick to judge and he was afraid to take Mary as his wife. Why was he afraid to marry her? What would you have done in that situation? Why do we still have fear when God asks us to do something? Is there or has there been a situation in your life that you’d be willing to share when God was calling you to do something and you were afraid? What was the outcome?

4. God’s presence came to earth through Jesus. To fully experience that presence, we have to take next steps in our lives. This means doing something or becoming something God’s called us to. It may also mean that we need to leave certain things behind. What needs to happen in your life for you to fully experience God’s presence in your life this Christmas?

As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.

WHEN LOVE COME TO TOWN: A U2 CHRISTMAS
BEAUTIFUL DAY

***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.

***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.

1. Think back to one of the happiest moments of your life. What was taking place? What were the circumstances? Who was there? What made that moment the happiest moment of your life? What would it take for that moment to be recreated or to have another moment like that take place?

2. In U2’s ‘Beautiful Day,’ there’s a line that says, “What you don’t have you don’t need it now, what you don’t know you can feel it somehow.” What are things in our lives that we just instinctively recognize we need? What are things that we think we need but we really don’t?

3. Read Matthew 19:16-26. Dale defined 4 places in relationship to Jesus that this story defined. What were these 4 places? Which one of these places do you find yourself at now? Which one of these places do you struggle to submit to Jesus?

4. Read James 4:8. We are as close to God as we want to be. How close do we want to be to God? How can we pray for each other that we would be as close to God as He desires?

As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.

I think every leader has soapboxes they get on. For me, it’s listening. There’s nothing that ticks me off when I’m talking to someone and I know they’re not listening. The other day, someone was talking to me and I was checking out hard core – I mean, I can’t remember a word they said. About half way through this, I recognized my hypocritical nature and apologized to the guy.

I started wondering “Why don’t we listen to people/interrupt people”? Here are the conclusions my research and thoughts have brought me to:

1. We are genuinely disinterested in what this person has to say.

This is pretty common. If someone comes in and drones on and on about the same thing, I lose interest and stop listening. Some people are (or consider themselves) ADHD and use it as an excuse to stop listening. Either way, I would think it would be considered rude.

2. We are genuinely disinterested in the person talking.

We don’t care about what this person is saying because we don’t care about this person. It sounds pretty harsh to say that, but I think if we could replay the tapes of certain people talking to us, we would probably agree.

3. We think we know what they’re going to say.

We typically interrupt people or stop listening because we think we know what they’re going to say. Sometimes we’re right, sometimes not, but either way, it’s pretty rude.

4. We think we’re smarter than they are.

This is why I don’t listen sometimes. Someone’s talking and I think I know more, so I stop listening. This is something that God has majorly checked me on and put me in my rightful “Matt-you’re-an-idiot-and-the-quicker-we-both-recognize-that-the-better-life-will-be” place.

5. We think what we have to say is more important than what they’re talking about.

This allows us to disengage and begin our own line of thinking. Or, this allows us to interrupt them and start talking about what we want to talk about. Again, a little on the rude side.

Ultimately, my belief is that not listening/interrupting goes back to humility. If we ever think that there are people in life we cannot learn from, are genuinely disinterested in, or feel as though we are smarter than, we are in desperate need of humility. As leaders, listening is crucial. We’re all busy, but taking time to listen can make or break your leadership.