I enrolled in a graduate school program through Seton Hall University with the focus in Strategic Communication and Leadership. Sounds cool right? I love leadership – talking about it, strategizing about leading, identifying and developing leaders, all that. So when I was accepted into this program, I was completely thrilled. Part of my excitement was the fact that it was a secular school that would be teaching leadership from the secular world’s perspective.
I arrived at the orientation weekend feeling way out of my league. Members of my class included: a Secret Service agent, a DEA agent, a White House Communications Correspondent, as well as executives from NASA, Boeing, Verizon, and about every major pharmaceutical company in the United States…and a pastor. I was pretty excited though, to be learning with and from people from so many different disciplines.
Our first lesson came out of a book called “The Leadership Challenge” by Kouzes & Posner. These guys wrote this book after interviewing thousands of leaders from all of these different disciplines and compiling data to find leadership best practices. They said they that after all that research they could summarize leadership into one word: relationship.
When I heard that, I initially pretty steamed. I mean, I’m paying a pretty hefty bill for you to tell me something that is fairly obvious. But as they went on to describe this relationship, they were describing a leader who looked an awful lot like Jesus Christ – in fact, identical to him. Jesus led the way by being a servant leader: knowing exactly where he was going by God’s hand and leading others with him, while at the same time tending to those following with sensitivity and care.
That’s the way we should operate as leaders. Model our lives after Christ. Spend significant time in prayer, leading boldly, and all the while caring for those around us. Our relationship with Jesus is what makes us a leader worth following.
Soul Cravings
Awakening
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. To transform means, “to change from one form to another.” When you think of transformation, what comes to mind? In what ways do people transform? In what ways have you transformed as a person across your life?
2. Read Ephesians 2:1. This passage talks about being ‘dead in your transgressions and sins.’ What does it look like to be dead in sin? Can anyone share a time when you or someone close to you was dead in their sin? What did it take in that situation for that person to recognize that they were indeed dead?
3. Read Romans 7:18-19. Paul captures the classic battle between Spirit and flesh here. Can any of us relate to this passage? What are some of the things that trip up our Christian walk that we know we shouldn’t do, but we somehow do them? 1 Cor. 10:13 says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” What hope do we have then in these struggling situations?
4. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that ‘if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come.’ Does anyone remember when you had this awakening moment with God? Would you be willing to share that story? Do any of us feel like we’re not quite there yet, but would like to be? Could we pray for you as a group?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
Awakening
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. To transform means, “to change from one form to another.” When you think of transformation, what comes to mind? In what ways do people transform? In what ways have you transformed as a person across your life?
2. Read Ephesians 2:1. This passage talks about being ‘dead in your transgressions and sins.’ What does it look like to be dead in sin? Can anyone share a time when you or someone close to you was dead in their sin? What did it take in that situation for that person to recognize that they were indeed dead?
3. Read Romans 7:18-19. Paul captures the classic battle between Spirit and flesh here. Can any of us relate to this passage? What are some of the things that trip up our Christian walk that we know we shouldn’t do, but we somehow do them? 1 Cor. 10:13 says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” What hope do we have then in these struggling situations?
4. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that ‘if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come.’ Does anyone remember when you had this awakening moment with God? Would you be willing to share that story? Do any of us feel like we’re not quite there yet, but would like to be? Could we pray for you as a group?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
I first encountered the principle of DWYSYWD (pronounced ‘dwizzy-widd’) with someone that was a pastor at a church I was attending. He was a very charismatic personality with a lot of great leadership skills. Once I was visiting for a few days in the area where he lived and he knew I was coming in and invited me out for lunch the Tuesday I would be in town. We set the date and I was ready to go. I arrived around noon on that Tuesday to the church office to meet up for lunch. I asked the secretary where he was, and she said that he was out to lunch with someone. I had been stood up! Worse yet, there were two of my friends there as well that were waiting for a lunch appointment with this guy. He triple booked the same appointment and still managed to stand everyone up!
Enter the principle of DWYSYWD – simply, ‘Do What You Say You Will Do.’ You can be the most skilled, educated, charismatic leader on the planet, but if you don’t follow through on commitments or back up your words with action, your credibility and leadership is shot. This applies to leadership in the work place, leadership within the church, and leadership in the home. Being a leader of credibility means making scheduled appointments, keeping your word, following through on commitments, and doing what you say you will do.
Enter the principle of DWYSYWD – simply, ‘Do What You Say You Will Do.’ You can be the most skilled, educated, charismatic leader on the planet, but if you don’t follow through on commitments or back up your words with action, your credibility and leadership is shot. This applies to leadership in the work place, leadership within the church, and leadership in the home. Being a leader of credibility means making scheduled appointments, keeping your word, following through on commitments, and doing what you say you will do.
Soul Cravings
Intimacy
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Intimacy is a scary word and an even scarier thought. Intimacy means ‘to be known.’ Why is it so scary for us ‘to be known’ by other people? Why is it so scary for us to be known by God?
2. Sometimes people have a hard time believing God can love them. Read 1 Corinthians 15:9. Paul is talking about himself here. What is surprising about this statement? Does this statement come as a surprise to you? Why? Why is this line easy to relate to?
3. Another common feeling is insignificance. Read Exodus 3:11 and 1 Chronicles 29:14. What do these verses have in common? What do the outcomes of these verses have in common? Why do you think God chooses to use insignificant people in significant ways? How has God used you in a significant way?
4. God loves us. Romans 8:38-39 makes that very clear. Do any of us have trouble believing that verse? Is there something in your life that you feel is separating you from God’s love? As a group can we pray with you about that?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
Intimacy
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Intimacy is a scary word and an even scarier thought. Intimacy means ‘to be known.’ Why is it so scary for us ‘to be known’ by other people? Why is it so scary for us to be known by God?
2. Sometimes people have a hard time believing God can love them. Read 1 Corinthians 15:9. Paul is talking about himself here. What is surprising about this statement? Does this statement come as a surprise to you? Why? Why is this line easy to relate to?
3. Another common feeling is insignificance. Read Exodus 3:11 and 1 Chronicles 29:14. What do these verses have in common? What do the outcomes of these verses have in common? Why do you think God chooses to use insignificant people in significant ways? How has God used you in a significant way?
4. God loves us. Romans 8:38-39 makes that very clear. Do any of us have trouble believing that verse? Is there something in your life that you feel is separating you from God’s love? As a group can we pray with you about that?
As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
Another great day at BridgeWay! Here are some reflections:
- We missed Dale and Steph today, but what a great opportunity to spend the weekend together in the 'Marriage Encounter' environment.
- We had a ton of people out today due to being out of town, but even more that were sick! Get well friends!
- Our Children's Pastor Connie Borth had to call a few audibles due to some illness that hit her area of minstry. The best part of that story is that you would never know because she's such a cool customer. Incredible job as always.
- I always appreciate our volunteers on Sundays. There are so many unsung heroes at BridgeWay that make Sunday happen! Like Chuck says, 'every Sunday is a miracle.' But the miracle always happens because of our volunteers. Thanks for all you do!
- The band was hot again today. They tore up the Dave Matthews song 'Grey Street' and put a little BridgeWay flavor on it. It was sick!
- Give a shout out to Nathan McCarthy of Switch, the student ministry department at BridgeWay. He always does a great job laying down the announcements - it's not as easy as he makes it look! Great job man.
- I'm really digging the Soul Cravings series. It's seems to really resonate with people that have given us feedback. Praise God for his direction in our lives!
- I loved being able to talk about the fact that we are created by God. It's so cool to even utter that phrase, let alone be able to teach on it.
- Mike Broshears deserves a shout too, giving up his afternoon to help this guy fix his water heater. Thanks a million (I know my wife echoes that sentiment too!).
Peace out friends - be back next week for our next Soul Craving - 'Intimacy.' See you there!
UNiTE is just around the corner!
Saturday November 8
5:00-7:00pm
BridgeWay Ministry Center
Karaoke Potluck Night
Bring your favorite dish to pass around!
This event is for anyone and everyone that is a volunteer at BridgeWay!
We are going to be hearing from Dale about some INCREDIBLE stuff coming down the pipe for BridgeWay! Trust me when I say: YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT!
Make sure to register through the Communication Card on Sundays or through the chuch office 291-0320 or bridgewayoffice@bridgewaycc.net.
***Before you begin! Reaffirm the ‘Vegas’ rule with your group – what happens in small groups stays in small groups. This is very important to talk about every week. Encourage everyone that the environment is safe, and that there is no judgment.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Do we all believe in the concept of a destiny (something to which a person or a thing is set apart for)? Do you think everyone knows they have a destiny? In what ways do we try to fulfill our own destiny’s apart from God?
2. Read Acts 17:24-25 as well as Jeremiah 1:5. Why is it so hard for us to believe in a Creator? Why do people have such a hard time believing that they are an on purpose creation of God? Have you ever struggled with this understanding? How did you come to the place where you are now?
3. Read Acts 17:26. Verse 26 says, “he determined the times set for them and the exact places they should live.” Think about what that means for a second. What are some of the scenarios around the world today that make this statement troubling? As we think about this in terms of destiny, what are some of the ways we are ‘destined’ to help as the body of Christ?
4. Read Acts 17:27. God is hungry for a relationship with us. Has there been a time in your life when you felt like God was far away from you? Would you feel comfortable sharing that situation with the group? How do we ensure that we keep a strong relationship with God in the midst of the storms of life?
5. In John 10:10, Jesus says that “I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.” Have you experienced this full life that Jesus offers? What’s the difference between a life with Jesus and a life without him? Are there areas of your life where you are not experiencing this fullness that Christ talks about? Could we pray with you about that right now?
***As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
***The reason we do small groups is to ‘belong and become’ – Have a safe group of friends to belong to and become more like Jesus every day. This is the vision of small groups – remind your group of this each week.
1. Do we all believe in the concept of a destiny (something to which a person or a thing is set apart for)? Do you think everyone knows they have a destiny? In what ways do we try to fulfill our own destiny’s apart from God?
2. Read Acts 17:24-25 as well as Jeremiah 1:5. Why is it so hard for us to believe in a Creator? Why do people have such a hard time believing that they are an on purpose creation of God? Have you ever struggled with this understanding? How did you come to the place where you are now?
3. Read Acts 17:26. Verse 26 says, “he determined the times set for them and the exact places they should live.” Think about what that means for a second. What are some of the scenarios around the world today that make this statement troubling? As we think about this in terms of destiny, what are some of the ways we are ‘destined’ to help as the body of Christ?
4. Read Acts 17:27. God is hungry for a relationship with us. Has there been a time in your life when you felt like God was far away from you? Would you feel comfortable sharing that situation with the group? How do we ensure that we keep a strong relationship with God in the midst of the storms of life?
5. In John 10:10, Jesus says that “I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.” Have you experienced this full life that Jesus offers? What’s the difference between a life with Jesus and a life without him? Are there areas of your life where you are not experiencing this fullness that Christ talks about? Could we pray with you about that right now?
***As always, end the group with general sharing of prayer requests and prayer. Some groups have found it effective to pray for each request as it’s given, rather than creating the list of requests. Use your discretion as a leader.
One thing I learned early on in leadership is to learn from the mistakes of those around me. When I was in student ministry, I recognized that some of my peers were struggling in their student ministries because they didn’t communicate enough to students and families. I made communication one of my number one priorities. We would put out a calendar with all the events on it for the year, we would send out a weekly newsletter with the same information on it, we would send parent letters home every semester, we would send reminder postcards when an event or schedule change was coming up, we would even make phone calls as small group leaders to students about events, and the standard weekly announcements from the front on Sundays and Wednesdays. After three years of this, I had a parent approach me and inform me that they felt like they never knew what was going on because we didn’t communicate well. Moment of confession: I was IRATE!
I kept my cool, but what I realized is this very important principle: you can’t communicate enough. Over-communicating is exactly what it sounds like: communicate the same message over and over again through as many different mediums as possible, in an effort to make that message part of the culture.
For BridgeWay Small Groups, our vision is to “belong and become:” belong in a safe group of friends and to become more like Jesus Christ each day. If you’re a small group leader you’re going to hear this vision again and again, and will be asked to communicate it to your group again and again. It’s vital that this message is ingrained in the culture.
What message do you need to over-communicate to those around you?
I kept my cool, but what I realized is this very important principle: you can’t communicate enough. Over-communicating is exactly what it sounds like: communicate the same message over and over again through as many different mediums as possible, in an effort to make that message part of the culture.
For BridgeWay Small Groups, our vision is to “belong and become:” belong in a safe group of friends and to become more like Jesus Christ each day. If you’re a small group leader you’re going to hear this vision again and again, and will be asked to communicate it to your group again and again. It’s vital that this message is ingrained in the culture.
What message do you need to over-communicate to those around you?
Incredible day at BridgeWay! Like Dale said, I really don't know what to say without making this post about three pages long, but here are the highlights:
- 37 people baptized! Let that sink in...37 people. Incredible!
- The band was incredible today. You could tell the were really feeding off of the cheering for the baptisms.
- It was pretty cool when every single person came out of the water they were greeted with an explosion of applause and cheering. It rivaled any sporting event I've ever been to!
- Everything with the Food and Carnival part of the day went off without a hitch; as well as it possible could. Thanks to about the 40 different volunteers it took to see Party in the Park happen. They are the best around! You all made a huge impact for Jesus today.
- I was jealous of Ben and Rick. Their job was to stand right next to the baptistery and help people out, so they got a front row seat!
- Thanks especially to Kevin Grose, Michael Dorsey, and Eric Decker for spending several hours on Saturday helping set everything up. Michael spent the night in the park to guard our equipment! What a trooper.
- I am recovering from a hypothermic state after spending about 15 minutes in the dunk tank. IT WAS COLD! Did you see how hard some of those kids could throw!?!?! Next year we should require performance enhancing drug tests.
- The Cornhole Tournament was pretty successful, I think we had 16 teams. In all fairness, I will say that my wife and her partner went further in the tournament than me and my partner. I won't tell you who my partner was, but I will give you a clue: he's the Lead Pastor at BridgeWay.
- Thanks to said Lead Pastor for the cash to give my truck a bath after we hauled all the garbage away for the day. I'm not sure what was going on in those bags, but you could smell it in Chicago it was so bad!
Thanks again to everyone for making Party in the Park a great day! Don't forget - the new series "Soul Cravings" starts this week. Don't miss it!
Part of being a small group leader is facilitating pastoral care to the members of your group. Sometimes this can seem like a scary notion to people – “I’m no pastor!” or “I can’t act like a pastor!” What does this really mean?
Pastoral care in its simplest form means a few things. First, you listen. People will see you as a spiritual authority. That means they may ask you questions or want to pour out their life to you. That’s ok. When they do, listen. This seems really simple, but it’s a huge part of pastoral care.
Secondly, pray. More often than not, people need someone to talk to rather than someone to tell them what to do. Along with that, offering advice isn’t always the best idea. The best idea is to point them back to Jesus Christ. That means right there, pray for them. This could be at church, in your home, at a restaurant, at a baseball game, in the car (eyes open if you’re driving), anywhere. Just pray.
Third, remember and follow up. Remember the conversation you had together. In the next couple days, give that person a call and just touch base with them. Let them know you’re praying and that you’re available.
That’s pretty simple, but highly effective. God doesn’t call us to do this stuff under our own
strength, but under his. In 1 Peter 4:8, he says, “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God…so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.” So next time you’re blessed with a pastoral call issue, praise God and start praying!
Pastoral care in its simplest form means a few things. First, you listen. People will see you as a spiritual authority. That means they may ask you questions or want to pour out their life to you. That’s ok. When they do, listen. This seems really simple, but it’s a huge part of pastoral care.
Secondly, pray. More often than not, people need someone to talk to rather than someone to tell them what to do. Along with that, offering advice isn’t always the best idea. The best idea is to point them back to Jesus Christ. That means right there, pray for them. This could be at church, in your home, at a restaurant, at a baseball game, in the car (eyes open if you’re driving), anywhere. Just pray.
Third, remember and follow up. Remember the conversation you had together. In the next couple days, give that person a call and just touch base with them. Let them know you’re praying and that you’re available.
That’s pretty simple, but highly effective. God doesn’t call us to do this stuff under our own
strength, but under his. In 1 Peter 4:8, he says, “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God…so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.” So next time you’re blessed with a pastoral call issue, praise God and start praying!
Due to the Party in the Park, there are no facilitation questions this week. However, if you have not done this yet, you will need to decide on what Get off the Couch Week (GOTCW) activity you will do.
At this point, hopefully your GOTCW Coordinator has seen these options below and you have discussed them at least a little bit. Here they are if you haven’t seen them:
These are the options that we’ve provided through the church office, from Matt’s blog:
Hey all Get off the Couch Week coordinators, here are some options of what to do that week:
- I referenced this in an earlier post, but there are some needs of a family within the church that could use some support.
- 'We Care' is an organization that we have used before during "IMPACT!" this past June. They have some opportunities available to help out folks in the community that may not be able to help themselves. These are typically things like yard work, manual labor around the house, cleaning, etc.
- South Side Mission has an opportunity on Saturday morning Oct. 11 for any group that would like to help at the Benevolence Center. This would be helping sort through donations, as Saturday is their busiest donation day.
- Peoria Rescue Mission has an opportunity to serve the evening meal to the folks there on Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday that week from 5:30-6:30.
- This is the option that if it is feasible, we'd love to see you do this. Find your own project to help someone in need. One group is helping a family that had significant flood damage. Another group is helping a lady who's given up on church finish her basement. You may be aware of needs within your group or of people around you that need help and need Jesus. These are great opportunities as well.
At your group this week, have your GOTCW Coordinator facilitate this discussion to figure out what to do:
How to decide which option will work:
1. Discuss with your group what they feel they’d like to do. Your group may be very gifted in skilled trades or repairs, etc. making some options more feasible. Your group may completely be unfit to do any kind of actual repairs or that type of labor, and be better suited to help at a Mission or a place like that.
2. Discuss what night of the week would work best for your group. Do you want to try to do this the same night as the group normally meets or a different time of the week?
3. At this point, you will have narrowed down the list quite a bit, you may be ready to decide which option will work.
4. Once this happens, you will need to discuss how to do childcare for that timeframe.
5. After this is ironed out, (the GOTCW coordinator) contact Matt and let him know what your group is doing, so he can work on your behalf if you’re working through an organization.
This may take the entire discussion period, if not and you’d like to have some formalized discussion, here are some ideas:
· Take some time to reflect on Sunday’s Party in the Park and tell stories about your own testimonies or baptism experiences.
· Talk about areas of the church that you serve in and what you like best about that area. Encourage those in the group to get involved in serving somewhere if they currently are not.
· Enjoy one another’s company, talk about whatever and pray for one another.
· As a leader, share from your own devotional life from the week. Maybe even craft a couple of your own questions that you feel like God has laid on your heart.
